Love is...

phew. 

My best friend is currently up here in DC visiting me for Spring Break! Its fun, I get to do all the tourist stuff I don't have time to do when school is in. So that's nice. But it's been a rough couple of days to be honest. She has just started this new relationship with this guy, we'll call him Blake. They've been "official" for like 2 weeks, but they've really been dating for a month and a half or so now. I've been concerned about her. She's always had anxiety (to the point where I don't understand why she hasn't been put on anti-anxiety meds yet). And it tends to increase in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people. So here she is, in DC, with only one person she knows well enough to feel comfortable at all. And the whole week before spring break, her and Blake were having troubles. He's the type of person to really cut himself off from society when he gets stressed out, and right before spring break is the inevitableness of midterms. Stress is high and mighty during this week, especially for an engineer, which is what he is. So anyways, I've been getting calls all week from a frantic and anxious best friend who tends to read into things too much because of her anxiety and continuously worries, even if logic is on her side. 

Anyways, the night before she came up here things with Blake got slightly better. Not enough to change the whole relationship to the way it was before, but enough to get her by. But of course, it still wasn't enough to quell her anxiety enough to enjoy where she is and who she's visiting. I've had to deal with her being constantly online just to see if he pops up, constantly checking and re-checking her phone for missed calls and/or text messages, and the random thoughts that come out of her mouth about him in the middle of conversation. It's been rough, to be quite frank. And I've had to constantly keep myself from simply rolling my eyes at her. 

But then this morning, the Lord sent me a little reminder in a very unexpected way. My roommate and I are trying to memorize verses: starting with easy ones that everyone already knows. We do this mainly by writing the verse on a notecard, sticking it into a plastic back, and duct-taping it to the far wall in the shower. Each of us spend 10-15 minutes in the shower and it gives us 10-15 minutes to memorize. Currently, the verse that is in the shower is 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.... ahhh now this blog makes sense doesn't it? 

This is what the verse says: "Love is patient and kind, it does not envy or boat, it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist upon its own way, it is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 

...

Needless to say, it kind of hit me. For the two days she's been here, I have been IMPATIENT and IRRITABLE and RESENTFUL. I have not hoped in this, believed in this, born this, or endured all this. I have not been loving her the way God loves her. I haven't been loving her the way God wants me to love her. And I felt ashamed. All I could think about was how I was the victim of such anxiety-- she's the real victim. I don't have anxiety to that level. And she's expressing how she feels--> how many times do I wish people did that more often? I've been the hypocrite and jerk this whole time. And it's amazing how a little reminder from God can change everything. I am going to patient now. Not resentful nor irritable. I will bear this, believe this, hope this, and endure this. Thank God for His little reminders. :)