Post-Africa

Africa was... incredible. In so many ways. 

It was incredible to sing there and share American music. And also to learn all sorts of cool songs in the African style. 

It was incredible to see all the beautiful scenery

It was incredible to learn about the history of South Africa and the recent past. 

But mostly, it was incredible to be living in a different culture, just for a few days, among a more humble people. I have never been so blatantly face to face with poverty. And I've never been so humbled. People there have little to nothing, and find so much joy in life. They find joy in having a family, having any clothes or any shelter whatsoever, no matter how shabby. They find joy in their friendships and neighbors. People here long for education, food, shelter, clothing, water, electricity, etc. They struggle with basic needs daily... and yet they find more joy in their lives than some of the richest people in the world. My mom always told me it was better to be poor and happy, than rich and unhappy. I believed it then, I believe it even more now. 

In ten days in Africa, I feel like I've actually changed. Something within my perspective and the way I think about the world is no longer the same. I simply cannot complain. I just can't anymore. Entire families live in homes the size of my bedroom. Single rooms, with no mattresses, no running water for cleaning or bathrooms, no privacy. I have everything in the world. I live in the most powerful country, I have more than enough of the basic needs, and then I have accessories. 

I'm sick of the same old stuff here. Seriously. The things I found funny at one point now give me a mild smile. They're just not funny. And the things that I used to really care about--don't matter anymore. 

I have come home to a CO that hasn't changed. To a place where all the people are the exact same people I left, but older. They laugh at the same stuff, they find distress in the same stuff, their routines are barely any different... and I have changed. The world I grew up in is the same. But the world I live in now is drastically different. My heart aches for DC and for my friends there. They are my true friends, the lifelong ones. I have a few lifelong friends in CO, of course. Jamie. Obviously. I hardly need to clarify. But other than that, Colorado doesn't feel like home as much as it used to. DC is home. Colorado feels like a long vacation. For the first time in my life, I don't actually want to be here. I want to be with people in DC, who shared my Africa experience and understand where I stand. No one here gets it.. they can't. They weren't with me. What am I to do? My heart actually hurts. I want to go home.